Posts Tagged ‘Hockey’

Toronto Maple Leafs Schedule

February 1, 2008

Given the state of the Toronto Maple Leaf’s play as of late the team brain trust felt that they should go after teams that they might actaully have a chance at beating. The NHL Board of Governors got together and under a special founder’s rule, allowed the Leafs to re-schedule.

Toronto Maple Leafs Revised 2008 Schedule

15 vs. Bloomington Jr. High School Girls
22 vs. Cub Scout Troop #101
29 vs. CNIB Senior Team

5 vs. Spanish-American War Vets
12 vs. Crippled Children’s Hospital
19 vs. St. Cloud Home for Wayward Girls
26 vs. Girl Scout Troop #69

5 vs. Ontario VD Clinic Post #3
12 vs. Church Street Boy’s Choir
19 vs. Korean War Amputees
26 vs. VA Hospital Polio Patients

Special Monday Night Game:
March 3 vs. Utopia Gay Boys

Name Change:
The Toronto Maple Leafs will be changed to the Toronto Tampons’ as they are only good for one period, and they don’t have a second string.

Coaching Change:
Paul Maurice will be replaced by Pamela Anderson. No doubt she will blow a few, but she won’t choke up on the BIG ONE.

Rule Changes:
1. When playing the Girl Scouts, the Leafs must not eat their cookies.

2. The Leafs will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the game.

3. When playing the Polio Patients, the Leafs must not disconnect any of the leg braces.

4. There will be no more dancing with opposing teams, like the last time they played the Utopia Gay Boys.

5. The Leafs MUST PROMISE to remember that when the referee drops the puck, this signals the beginning of play. This is to ensure that no more time will be wasted while the Leafs try to figure out what just happened.

6. The Leafs must also stop tangling the crippled children in the net mesh.


And while on the topic of the Leafs….

What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn’t?
Black and white photographs of their last Stanley Cup.

What do the Leafs and The Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.

Why don’t the Maple Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.

What’s the difference between the Leafs and a cigarette machine?
The cigarette machine has PLAYERS.

E. Zack Lee

Canada Names World Junior Team

December 13, 2007

Craig Hartsburg wasted no time choosing his Canadian junior hockey team.

Harstburg’s announcement came a little earlier than expected. Training camp began a day later this year and the squad was chosen after two practices and two intrasquad games.

Star forward John Tavares of the Oshawa Generals was selected to the team after being cut last year. Fellow high-profile prospect Angelo Esposito of the Quebec Remparts wasn’t as fortunate and was cut for the third consecutive year.

Goaltender Leland Irving of the Everett Silvertips, who backed up Carey Price last year, and netminder Tyson Sexsmith of the Vancouver Giants were also among the cuts.

Defencemen released from the team included Keaton Ellerby of the Moose Jaw Warriors, Ty Wishart of the Prince George Cougars, Andrew Bodnarchuk of the Halifax Mooseheads, Brendan Smith of the University of Wisconsin and Kevin Marshall of the Lewiston Maineiacs.

Other forwards sent home were Zach Hamill of the Everett Silvertips, Mathieu Perreault of the Acadie-Bathurst Titan, Dana Tyrell of the Prince George Cougars, Brett MacLean of the Oshawa Generals and Ryan White of the Calgary Hitmen.

The world junior tournament is a showcase for a country’s players under the age of 19 and the majority of players on each team are 19.

The Canadian roster has 10 players 18 or under, including 17-year-old forwards Tavares of the Generals and Steve Stamkos of the Sarnia Sting. Four of the seven defencemen are 18.

Two goaltenders, seven defencemen and 13 forwards were selected to the team that departs Friday for Europe for a pre-competition camp.

Of the 22 players, 16 were members of the Canadian team that went 7-0-1 against Russia in the summer’s Super Series.

Returning players

Calgary Hitmen defenceman Karl Alzner and Brad Marchand of the Val-d’Or Foreurs are the returning players from the squad that won gold at the 2007 world junior tournament in Sweden.

Jonathan Bernier of the Lewiston Maineiacs and Steve Mason of the London Knights will tend Canada’s net. Esposito said a groin injury that prevented him from playing in the Super Series was a strike against him coming to selection camp.

“It’s very disappointing,” Esposito said. “I worked hard, I did my best. My first game was really good and my second game was average and I’m happy with the way I played.

“It’s part of life. You’ve just got to live and learn.”

The only other player to be cut for three straight years was current Detroit Red Wing Daniel Cleary in the late 1990s.

Canada opens the tournament Dec. 26 in Pardubice, Czech Republic.

On the Team Canada roster are: FORWARDS

– John Tavares (Oshawa Generals, OHL)

– Steve Stamkos (Sarnia Sting, OHL)

– Zach Boychuk (Lethbridge Hurricanes, WHL)

– Colton Gillies (Saskatoon Blades, WHL)

– Brandon Sutter (Red Deer Rebels, WHL)

– Kyle Turris (University of Wisconsin, NCAA)

– Brad Marchand (Val-d’Or Foreurs, QMJHL)

– Claude Giroux (Gatineau Olympiques, QMJHL)

– Matt Halischuk (Kitchener Rangers, OHL)

– Riley Holzapfel (Moose Jaw Warriors, WHL)

– Stefan Legein (Niagara IceDogs, OHL)

– Shawn Matthias (Belleville Bulls, OHL)

– Wayne Simmonds (Owen Sound Attack, OHL)


– Thomas Hickey (Seattle Thunderbirds, WHL)

– PK Subban (Belleville Bulls, OHL)

– Luke Schenn (Kelowna Rockets, WHL)

– Drew Doughty (Guelph Storm, OHL)

– Karl Alzner (Calgary Hitmen, WHL)

– Josh Godfrey (Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds, OHL)

– Logan Pyett (Regina Pats, WHL)


– Jonathan Bernier (Lewiston Maineiacs, QMJHL)

– Steve Mason (London Knights, OHL)

CBC Sports

editor’s note… the rest of the world should just fight it out for 2nd and 3rd and spare themselves the shame of getting their asses handed to them when playing team canada.

Weekly NHL rankings from The Canadian Press

November 2, 2007

The Wings are too hot to ignore and the Habs move up the chart. A look at our totally subjective and weekly ranking of the league’s 30 clubs:

1. Detroit Red Wings. Kicking butt and taking names in the tougher Western Conference.2. Ottawa Senators. Trying not to fall asleep during all this time off.3. Carolina Hurricanes. They’re back!

4. Minnesota Wild. Being extra careful with Marian Gaborik’s groin injury. Smart.

5. Philadelphia Flyers. Simon Gagne doesn’t appear back anytime soon.

6. Montreal Canadiens. Carey Price or Cristobal Huet? Doesn’t matter as the Habs keep winning.

7. Calgary Flames. Now if they only tighten up defensively, then watch out.

8. St. Louis Blues. Paul Kariya is flying.

9. Columbus Blue Jackets. Good ol’ Ken Hitchcock hockey – Jackets allowing only 1.90 goals per game.

10. San Jose Sharks. Inconsistent team right now. Not good enough.

11. Dallas Stars. Mike Modano trying to get out of the dog house.

12. Pittsburgh Penguins. Need to tighten up defensively.

13. Colorado Avalanche. Ryan Smyth is heating up.

14. Buffalo Sabres. More is expected from Thomas Vanek.

15. Boston Bruins. Phil Kessel is a dandy.

16. New York Islanders. Bill Guerin proving he’s got more left in the tank.

17. Tampa Bay Lightning. Vincent Lecavalier dropping the gloves and scoring goals!

18. Los Angeles Kings. Anyone notice they’ve won five of six?

19. Chicago Blackhawks. Turns out Sergei Samsonov also can’t score in Chicago.

20. Vancouver Canucks. This blue-line group way too good to be playing like this.

21. Anaheim Ducks. There’s no pill for this Stanley Cup┬áhangover.

22. Washington Capitals. Need to get Alexander Semin healthy.

23. Toronto Maple Leafs. A fragile group at home.

24. New York Rangers. Should have kept Michael Nylander.

25. New Jersey Devils. Patrick Elias hasn’t been the same since signing the big contract in the summer of 2006.

26. Edmonton Oilers. Might be a long year but the kids are fun to watch.

27. Florida Panthers. Whatever happened to Richard Zednik?

28. Nashville Predators. Who’s No. 1? Dan Ellis or Chris Mason?

29. Atlanta Thrashers. It’s a big hole to dig out of.

30. Phoenix Coyotes. Alex Auld appears to have won the No. 1 goalie job.

Copyright The Canadian Press

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E. Zack Lee