Posts Tagged ‘Vancouver Canucks’

Vancouver Canucks Will Clash With Calgary Flames This Weekend

February 9, 2011

This weekend the Vancouver Canucks will take on the Calgary Flames in Vancouver.  The Canucks have been the superior team even as both of these teams have had solid seasons to this point. With a 35-10-9 record this season the Canucks are atop the conference.

Closer to game time, at online sportsbooks, check out NHL Betting.

It seems the Canucks are solid in every aspect of the game. They allow just 2.3 goals per game on defense as averaging 3.4 goals a game they have the 2nd best offense in the NHL.  In the league, this is the 3rd best average. In terms of power play percentage and penalty kill percentage, they are also one of the best teams.

At Left Wing the Canucks are led by Daniel Sedin. He has been a key facilitator for the Canucks on offense as he has 69 points on the season.  In order to limit the impact that Sedin has on the game, the Flames will need to try to find a way. To stop up and make plays this will force another player.

Even though the Flames seem to find a way to win games they are pretty much a middle of the pack team in most statistical categories. For the Flames Jarome Iginla is the main offensive force. Having dished out the most assists of any player on his team, he is the leading scorer. To have a big game against the Canucks, the Flames will need him.

The Canucks are certainly favored in this game even as the Flames do have an opportunity.

Mats Sundin comes to Vancouver

August 1, 2008

I’m hoping Mats Sundin comes to Vancouver, takes his $20 million, eliminates the Canucks from any cap space to add somebody at the trade deadline when they’re 10th in the conference looking to make the post season, gets his scheduled injury at crunch time and once again leads his team to a “maybe next year” finish.

Do you know what an anagram is? It’s where you have a word or sentence, scramble all the letters up and come up with something different. For example, SLOT MACHINES would become CASH LOST IN ‘EM. So I was working on one along these lines. THE CANUCKS PLAYED MATS SUNDIN becomes STACKED HAND, MINUS STANLEY CUP.

Other things to watch for this year with the Canucks:

Steve Bernier scores 15 goals, just like always, and management convinces the media he should have scored more. In fact, they should convince everybody about a remarkable year considering 15 goals under Alain Vigneault means 40 somewhere else.

–Contract talks with the Sedins get leaked suggesting they are looking for significantly more than the Canucks can afford. Mike Gillis addresses all these questions with belligerence and a condescending attitude.

Roberto Luongo has stretches of games where Vancouverites talk about the Stanley Cup, but late in the season, a few alert members of the press notice his success goes alongside the success of the players fulfilling Vigneault’s system.

–The aforementioned Luongo stops talking to reporters because he’s sick of justifying his elite goalie status despite non-elite goalie play.

–The Canucks score fewer goals than last season.

Taylor Pyatt finally lets someone know he’s sick of playing for Vigneault and looks to take his hot girlfriend with him to a play-off contender before the trade deadline.

Sami Salo suffers several injuries this year.

–Vigneault continues to bench young players like Ryan Shannon and Mason Raymond because they don’t honour his defense at all costs system of play.

–The Canucks suck at shootouts again.

–Desperate for offense, Gillis trades Kevin Bieksa and more draft picks he’s running out of for an uncircumcised Euro who’s been underachieving for three years but could score (allegedly) if the situation for him was right.

Markus Naslund and Brendan Morrison play well for New York and Anaheim respectively.
I didn’t consult Nostradamus.

And last with the Canucks, surprisingly, they’ve raised ticket prices for the umpteenth straight year. This time, it’s because player salaries have raised 15 per cent, so they’re giving fans a bargain because they’re only raising ticket prices 7.5 per cent. Nice scam, scumbags. First of all, Sundin hasn’t taken the $20 million yet, so your player costs are less than last year so far, and despite what player salaries are, clubs are guaranteed 54 per cent (or thereabouts) of revenues. With players putting money into escrow, all the escalating ticket prices do is increase the revenue pool for both players and clubs, so don’t try to sell us on it being the cost of doing business. Once again, lies, lies, lies.

This has been a Jeff Jeffrey production.

Trevor Linden Retires

June 11, 2008

A press conference is set for tomorrow where it is expected that long time fan favorite Trevor Linden will announce his retirement. If this is true then I want to thank him for all of his years of service to the Vancouver Canucks and the community. I know that Trevor played with other teams as well as representing players through his involvement with the NHLPA but, I’ll save those thanks for now.

As a Vancouver Canuck, Trevor Linden tallied 415 assists and 318 goals for a total of 1,140 points. As an NHL player Trevor scored a total of 375 goals and 492 points for 867 points in 1,382 games for Canucks, Washington Capitals, Montreal Canadiens and New York Islanders.

As a humanitarian Trevor Linden was practically a fixture at the BC Children’s Hospital and Canuck Place, a hospital for terminally ill children. In 1995 Trevor put together the Trevor Linden Foundation to raise money for local charities and hosts an annual golfing event as a fundraiser for BC Children’s Hospital. For all of that and more Vancouver’s favorite Canuck also received the Order of British Columbia in 2003.

Best to you Trevor and I for one hope you have a wonderful retirement.

E. Zack Lee

Dave Nonis Fired – Vancouver Canucks

April 15, 2008

The Vancouver Canucks announced today that Dave Nonis has been relieved of his duties as the team’s General Manager & Sr. Vice-President.

One down and one more to go!

All we got to do now is get rid of the other dead weight management type Alain Vigneault, once that is done maybe we can get this team moving in the right direction again.

E. Zack Lee

New Hockey Stick for Luongo

April 1, 2008

News just came out of the Vancouver Canucks leadership that they have decided to equip the Canuck goalie – Roberto Luongo – with a new stick!

Roberto Luongo's new hockey stickThe major reason for this decision has not come due to the star goalie’s inability to stop pucks from entering his own net but rather from his inability to put pucks into opponent’s net – inability to score.

This may come as a surprise to many of you hockey fans since what does a goalie have to do with scoring. Well, in Vancouver it may be the key component they are missing in order to produce some potent and enjoyable hockey games.

The logic behind this decision goes like this:

“The best player on our team is the goalie; In fact he is the best goalie in the whole league! So let’s exchange his fat stick for a proper shooting one and he may become the best scoring player on our team; In fact he may be the next Ovechkin!”

It is a good reasoning and I won’t argue that; In fact I said this in January. And it makes total sense because when things are going not so well you should try to do everything with every player you have.

Viva new Luongo’s hockey stick!

Stanoo Calista

Popular Internet Auction Site Crashes due to Volume of Submissions

March 27, 2008

The world’s leading Internet auction site that shall remain nameless due to their extensive war chest earmarked for legal issues such as Trade Mark infringements has reportedly crashed today due to mass submissions over a very short period of time.

It turns out that immediately after the Vancouver Canucks loss to the Colorado Avalanche on March 26, 2008; fans of the once entertaining and popular ice hockey club began putting their seats on the Canucks bandwagon up for auction on the popular San Jose, California based online auction site.

Given that the Vancouver Canucks are the entire province’s only source of major league sports entertainment, the bandwagon potential for this team is quite huge. With the staggering loss to the team the other night in Denver, the trickle of auction submissions soon turned into a raging torrent that brought the auction site’s servers down.

One auction submitter who goes by the handle “WeNeedANewCoach” posted on his auction page;

“one extra wide Vancouver Canuck Bandwagon seat up for auction to the highest bidder. Bandwagon seat features 1 Red Heating Lamp in the back that never seems to turn off but to compensate for dat der iz an ever full bottle of water eh.”

A spokesman for the popular auction site informed us that the problem was only temporary and full service was restored quite quickly. When asked if there was any concern of this happening again he informed us that as far as he understood it the season is almost over for the beleaguered hockey team and given the lack of activity regarding those bandwagon seat auctions, the public doesn’t seem to be too interested in securing any of these empty seats so the odds of the site going down are about as good as the odds of the Canucks making the playoffs.

When the Vancouver Canuck star goaltender Robert Luongo was contacted about the auction site going down he allegedly responded with

“That’s not me, I don’t think we need a new coach, and besides… I don’t have time to think about hockey these days; my wife is having a baby soon.”

We tried to get a comment from Vancouver Canucks ex-captain Trevor Linden regarding the fate of the team and the lack of band wagon seat action but seeing we are not actual members of the press we couldn’t get into the press box to see him.

E. Zack Lee

Alain Vigneault – to Roberto Luongo Play Better?

January 24, 2008

Alain Vigneault, head coach of the Vancouver Canucks, reportedly informed star goaltender Roberto Luongo that he needs to play better. While it is true that the Canucks have not been playing well as of late, you can hardly blame that on our beleaguered goalie.

Sure the Canucks could use a little help on defense right now but that isn’t even completely to blame for the Canuckle-heads losing streak. This entire season there has been a serious lack of scoring and while this is a problem it isn’t even the main problem as people used to go to see this team play even when they were losing in the past.

The biggest problem for this team is the boring style of play that can only be blamed on the Vancouver Canucks brain trust. This defense first style is absolutely boring, boring, boring. The other night a co-worker couldn’t attend the Canuck VS. Wild game and he had the hardest time even giving the tickets away.

In fact he ended up giving them to me and the only people that I could give them away to were a couple of women I know that had never been to a pro hockey game before. They had fun but that was probably attributable to the alcohol and not having a basis for comparison.

Was Alain Vigneault’s suggestion to Roberto Luongo warranted? Perhaps he could play a little better and that might happen if he had the inspiration of his teammates scoring some goals of their own.

So Alain Vigneault’s message to Roberto Luongo of “Play better” could probably be read as “Play better Luongo – or I’ll lose my coaching job because my system isn’t keeping the fans entertained.”

I gotta be honest here folks – even when the Canucks are winning games these days it is so boring to watch that I find myself not even caring because I am far more entertained by the grass growing and some paint drying. Thank God for alternative forms of entertainment!

E. Zack Lee